So.... a lot has been going on lately.

Aurelien came to visit for a week and it was fun. We did a bunch of touristy stuff, but mostly drank coffees in Place Plume. While he was here I had one of the BEST NIGHTS in Tours, if not in my life.

Here is a run down of it: David, Aurelien and I went to La Tosca for dinner where David and I shared a bottle of Bourgueil wine........OMG........no words. It was AMAZING. We also had a cheese plate.........so good...........drooooooooooool. There's no way I can describe how amazing that meal was. So, then we had our entrees (we ordered for each other........and by that I mean David picked for me and suggested what I should pick for him......because I'm horrible at ordering). It was delicious. We didn't finish, though....too much deliciousness! Then we had a drink after dinner (my first amaretto...yum!) and then the owner came over and bought us another drink and sat down and chatted with us for a bit. So cool.

So we left the restaurant and Aurelien went home. David and I went to Cafe Chaud where we proceeded to drink a bit and dance and meet up with his friends and head to Excalibur and dance and drink and etc. It was an amazing night. Too too much fun.

A couple of days after that I met my sister and my father in Paris with little to no drama finding them (which is harder than you'd think without cell phones). We had a couple stressful days in Paris (stressful for me, but not for them, I hope) and then headed to Avignon.

Here's an interesting tid-bit. I was expecting to get to Avignon and have that feeling that I was home. But, it really just felt slightly familiar and a bit odd... I guess, in the end, I realized that Tours is more of my home in France than Avignon ever was or will be. This is a positive point because Tours is, at least, 600 times cooler than Avignon. ha ha!

Anyway, after that we headed back to Tours (home sweet home) with only slight problems involving the train greve (yay, France). We went out Saturday night (my sister included), and have just been chilling and seeing the sights for the past couple of days. David has been so nice, for lack of a better adjective. He's letting my sister and my dad stay in his apartment for free for almost a week and he's staying with me. He completely displaced himself for my family. So nice. He also drove us to usse (the castle was slightly disappointing) and has cooked for us and, just in general, has been a better host than I ever could be. He such a sweetheart.

Everything is going alright other than that. I'm still having major life crisis about what I want to do within the next couple of years, but honestly, I've got next year planned out and I think that's as far as I can go at this point. There's just too much stuff bubbling around my head right now and I don't see it ending anytime soon. The worst part is that there's nobody to go to for advice because we're all having the same crisis. The only thing to be done is to wait and see how it all plays out. It does remind me of a quote, though, that used to be on AJ's facebook profile.........I don't know if it still is...... but it's from one of my favourite movies:


"Everyone I know is having a crisis. I know you're not supposed to get them until midlife but I think something's happening to our metabolism. I mean the world is moving so fast now, we are all chasing something so fast that we start freaking out long before our parents did. Feel my heart. Feel how fast it is? ‘Cause we don't ever stop to breathe anymore...You gotta remember to breathe or you'll die."


Follow Chris Carrabba's advice: Remember to breathe.

Always,
Amanda

Ch-ch-ch-changes!

So, here's another blog that you'll want to skip.

Tonight I saw "Up in the air" and although I found it hard to connect to the characters (which I've been having a problem with lately) it made me reflect on my life....which I guess would be considered connecting with one of the characters.

Anyway..... here's the bottom line.

I've changed. I'm not the same person I was two years ago (and this will be made painfully obvious in about 2 days). I'm not the same person I was last year in school. I am definitely not the same person I was last summer (thank GOD!). And.....finally.... I'm not the same person I was 6 months ago, 3 months ago, or even last week. Things are changing rapidly and, for the most part, I think this is a good thing. It's hard to explain exactly what's changed, and most of the extremely personal stuff I would not feel comfortable writing in a blog... I just feel, different. Completely different.

There are things I used to think about all the time that I don't anymore. There are things I never even considered that now I'm considering. There are things I did in the past that I will never do again in the future. There are ideals that I'm willing to stand up for now. There are dreams I have that I couldn't even imagine dreaming before.

The biggest change, I think, would be that I feel like I have a future now. I don't know what it is (I have some plans, but not many) and that's okay. I know that it's not what I wanted a year ago. The world of academia is tempting. It sounds so horrible, but I'm smart. Smart people go to school. Smart people are told by other smart people how to study and learn and get a degree and be a professor. All of this is so smart people can teach other people how to be smart.

But I don't NEED to do this.

I don't WANT to do this.

I have found that I am perfectly capable of learning SO SO much without a textbook in front of me.

It is hard to believe that currently one of the smartest people I know and the person with whom I spend the majority of my time with over here didn't even graduate high school. And we are constantly matched in wits. And I can't think of anyone I'd rather spend my time with.

We've been told that you have to go to college to get smart. And keep studying, studying, studying. And, you know what? It's really f-ing hard to work your knowledge of French Renaissance Poetry into a conversation with a normal person.

I'm just sayin'.....

The world of academia is wonderful and fun and interesting and SAFE.

And I think I'm finally comfortable enough with my ability to LIVE that I don't need it anymore.

Don't get me wrong, I'm still going back for my Masters.....but I'm doing it to teach, to have an effect on other people's lives. To show them how cool languages are and then give them a shove out into the real world. I'm not going to teach them how to be smart or ace that exam for the grade...... I'm going to teach them how to communicate with MILLIONS of other people who only speak this language.

I'm realizing that I'm never going to change the world as a whole.

But if I can help one person. If I can make life better for one person.......isn't that changing the world as well? And what if I can do that for ten people? Twenty?

This is what will fulfill me. It may not keep food on the table or keep me warm at night... but it's what I need to do.

There is so much more I need to say about how life is different now, but I don't even know where to begin or how to describe it. I guess this whole "future" talk is just one of the examples of the radical changes that are going on. And....for once in my life, I think I'm accepting these changes in the most beautiful way.

I would write that I fear that when I get back to the US my friends won't want me anymore or my family won't recognize me.......but....... of course they will. The true friends I have will always accept me for whoever I am at the moment. And family, well, you don't get to pick....ha ha.

So, anyway. Sorry I blabbed for so long and I wish I could do a better job describing what's going on, but it's quite impossible and I'm getting sick of the "g" on my keyboard sticking.

Happy Jesus Zombie Day.

Always,
Amanda